Outcomes – make your genie work for you!

nlp-life-coach-londonAre you taking life too seriously?

Ever wondered why being an adult doesn’t seem to hold the same magic as childhood? Are you taking life too seriously? Ever find yourself dwelling on problems and feeling bad?

At some point in life we stop asking for what we want (and the things that would make us happy) and instead focus on what we don’t want (including problems).

Anyone with children (either their own or nephews and nieces) will testify that youngsters are great at clearly spelling out exactly what they want (especially to Father Christmas!) Yet, somewhere along the way we lose the art. Why?


There could be several reasons for this unhelpful transition – we could be told ‘money doesn’t grow on trees’, develop ideas that we’re not worthy of success or protect ourselves from disappointment when things don’t turn out as we’d expect.

These become beliefs – we then act as though they’re true and as set in stone as gravity (but beliefs do change – think about Father Christmas again!). If you think you can’t achieve something then how much effort would you put in? That’s how beliefs rapidly become self-fulfilling prophecies.

What is it that you want?

The golden coaching question is “what is it that you want?”, so simple and yet so powerful. Many people answer with things that they don’t want (whether it be debt, being overweight, depressed etc) or instead hear the question as “what do you think is currently possible?”

I’d like to transport you to a world where we each have a genie (just outside the perception of our five senses) that’s waiting to deliver whatever it is we truly desire. We just need to let it know, and it answers with “your wish is my command”. Imagine if that were really the case? How do we know it isn’t? The visual instruments that are our eyes only perceive a fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum after all…..

Your higher self

You don’t need to be religious to believe in your higher self, the law of attraction, the power of your subconscious mind or scientific prayer. What have you got to lose? Maybe we do have more responsibility for our situation than we’d prefer – it can be quite comforting to blame other people, the government etc (but then we relinquish control to change things for the better).

If for just one day you logged every picture, film and piece of internal dialogue made internally, what percentage would be empowering? Most of the time we’re completely unaware of how we talk to ourselves and what internal representations we’re making (we do it so well of course that, like driving a car, it’s become completely automated). The output though is our feelings, if you need a clue then just examine them.

Think of a problem

Stop what you’re doing right now and think of a problem or an issue you’re currently experiencing. Pay attention to any pictures, sounds or feelings. Now open your eyes, get up and have a nice stretch. Sit down again, close your eyes and think about an outcome you’d really like to achieve in the next six months, again focusing on what you can see, feel and hear.

Using the feelings generated as your guide, how did the two experiences compare? You see, the amazing thing is that the brain doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s imagined. Yet most of us use this incredible gift to focus on our problems and get more of what makes us feel bad!

Even worse, many use up time and energy focusing on negative scenarios (such as arguments with the boss or partner) that not only haven’t actually happened but may never! The more you play that film, however, the more likely it will happen for real. You’ve been warned!

How to turn it around (and start today, one day, tomorrow will be too late!):

  • Think about what you DO want: make a list (even better, make pictures (genies love them!) – real ones or inside your mind!), place put it under your pillow (or put it out to the universe in whatever way works for you).
  • Think BIG! “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it you will land among the stars.”- Les Brown
  • Pay attention to your feelings: if they’re bad then rewind slightly and notice what you’ve been thinking about. Change your thinking from problem to outcome-based (we get more of what we think about after all!). It’s like any new habit, there will be initial resistance but it will feel more and more natural with practice.
  • Be open to receive – once you put requests out there, opportunities WILL present themselves. Pay more attention to your surroundings and be prepared to act on inspired thoughts – join that club, go to that event etc!

We are born with the natural ability to ask for what we want yet somewhere along the way we stop doing that. If that’s not bad enough, we focus on (and hence ask our genie for) problems and what we don’t want in our lives.

Our genie works 24/7 on our behalf but doesn’t know what we want and what will make us happy – whatever we hold in our mind (whether pictures or internal dialogue) we’ll attract more of. Think of your mind like you do the front door of your house – no one but us can control who or what we let in. Our thoughts control our emotions and direct our genie – choose them carefully!


NLP Life Coaching LondonAbout The Author 

Paul Brown is a success coach and NLP practitioner who specialises in assisting clients of all ages and backgrounds explore and get what they really want.

Although based in London, he also helps clients across the UK via telephone coaching. For more information (and for testimonials) please visit www.empoweringbeliefs.co.uk or his GoToSee profile page here

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