Life Coaching for personal development
What unitive life coaching deals with particularly is our perception of what goes on rather than what actually goes on, because our perception of what goes on rather causes the problem rather than the actual thing itself. The way we see the world is the problem so unitive coaching knows that the problem isn’t out in the world, it’s difficult out there but most of us can cope more or less with what goes on but what we can’t cope with is what we actually perceive. And what we think is modified by our background, by our training, by our feelings and by the way we have been conditioned to perceive things that have happened in the past.
The thing I use quite often is to think about being lost. If people come to me and say that they are lost it’s because you have a place to go and you don’t know where the direction of it is. So you’ve lost direction. Just imagine that you’re lost because you are now, now if you stand still, you say which direction do I go to? And there’s 360 degrees of the compass and you don’t know which one to go to because you don’t know what where you’re aiming for is, in which direction it is, so you’re trying to go towards it.
But just say, which is a fact that people do realise sooner or later, that if you really realise where you are right now and get in touch with where you are right now then you’re not lost, you’re home. Because there is nowhere to go.
If I need love I have to find love within myself, and that’s the whole point. I think the people who I know and the people who aim for goals because they want love and approval and lots of power because they don’t feel that’s what they have within themselves because they’re not in touch with themselves. All these problems that we have are completely and utterly internal.
Life coaching addressing conflicts and problems
So let’s address this, let’s have a dialogue with these conflicting elements of ourselves and once that dialogue has been reconciled then there is no conflict and then we can really enjoy life. We can go along our particular path in life unthinkingly on our instinctive way. And to express yourself in life as you truly are is true creativity, you don’t have to be an artist or a scientist or anything, just to be who you are, without fear or favour, is what creative living is all about.
Change is all about changing you point of view of yourself, changing your perception of yourself from a one-sided point of view to an integrated point of view. Now once you have changed that, that’s the only change that you need to do. So you don’t need to change anything in the outside world because the outside world is as it is. You also don’t have to change anything in the opposing aspects of your internal world because that’s a fact.
All you have to do is get in the middle of those aspects and integrate them. Once you’ve done that you’ll find that when nothing is done than in the old Chinese saying, everything is done because by changing nothing you’ve changed everything. The change is a change of perception not a change of doing in the outside world. Change is to accept yourself as you are for a change If we try and change the world we will fail, if we try and change ourselves we will fail, if we change our perception of who we are that’s the only true change.
Achieving goals with life coaching
Instead of having an image of the self, a goal at which we try and achieve, if you try and have a projection of the self which you will have in the future, you being perfect or better than you are, that’s a false goal because its still the conflict between self and awareness. Now if you can put the self and the fantasies of what the self should do,what you ought to do, need to do, what you want to do, what the goals are etc. if you can put them on one side , which is part of the problem and just work on awareness then if you become aware of who you really are, of what you really are instead intuitively you will sit in the middle of the power of your authenticity.
And then instead of actually having to do something just watch what happens to you in life and it’s absolutely true and beautiful and authentic because you haven’t got in the way. So instead of having an idea of what you should be or what you should do if you just become aware of the conflict between your aims and goals and the real world, once you’ve become part of that real world then there’s no opposition, you actually flow with it.
You’ll be surprised that without doing anything at all you’re taken along an intuitive path without thinking, without feeling. It will just happen. And whatever happens you will find tremendously satisfying because of your authentic view. Your authentic path through life, not determined by your training because that’s the problem, we’ve been trained to see ourselves in a certain way. So it’s de-training rather than training. And by getting rid of that we become free, we become powerful and the power is not trying to attain a goal, power is actually being there.
That’s a very powerful position to be in and any kind of situation in life instead of trying to attain a certain position if you’re already there in perception that’s a very powerful place to be and it will be recognised as such.
People talk about self-awareness. Self awareness is the big buzz word and has been for a long time. It’s something we should all strive for and attain, some kind of goal that will change our lives. The thing is when you think about it or when you apply your intuitive feelings to it self awareness is a contradiction in terms because when you are aware there is no self. Self is the sum of all our training, all our preconceptions,our prejudices, all the ways we’ve been brought up.
So self awareness is exactly where the problem is because the self is not aware because the self fights awareness and the whole point of unitive coaching is to cancel the self out because the problem is in the self. So its not a question of being self aware it’s a question of getting the self out the way getting the conflict of the self rationalised or unified and then what happens is we then suddenly live in a state of pure awareness and that is peace. That is timeless and that is absolutely beautiful.
And that’s the aim of all this work, not to become self aware but to compensate for the self. Leave the self out of it, resolve the problems of the self so that then awareness can happen. Awareness is true, awareness is beautiful and awareness is the whole goal of this work.