12 relationship mistakes
12 common mistakes people make in a relationship
Everyone has problems in a relationship from time to time. However, there are some negative things we just seem to do over and over again.
Here we take a brief look at the most common mistakes people make in a relationship.
1. Minor irritations
Forgot to put the rubbish out? Left the toilet seat up? Dropped your dirty washing on the floor? These are just a few of the minor male indiscretions that cause women to become irritated.
For men, they can get hot under the collar when their partner has trouble with map directions or if they throw out a favourite t-shirt that, perhaps, is a bit worse for wear.
These types of irritation are trivial and have no bearing on what really matters in a relationship. A good relationship can see beyond them so when faced with one consider how lucky you are to be with that person and remember the irritation is just a minor one.
2. We don’t talk anymore
It’s a common complaint that partners simply don’t talk about things anymore. Talking about things is a habit that you can fall out of because you have nothing to discuss other than the weather.
By doing activities together such as watching topical programmes or reading magazines and books you’ll store up a wealth of subjects that you can discuss with your partner.
Verbal communication is a vital part of any relationship so don’t let it go to waste.
3. Overbearing parents
We all love our parents but they can also be the death of a relationship. Parents are naturally protective and curious about what their offspring are doing but this can become too much and lead to possessiveness.
By discussing this issue together you can decide on the amount of contact you’ll have with each other’s parents. If one parent in particular keeps popping in or calling too often then the offspring of that parent needs to confront them about it.
Why not arrange something in advance but stipulate it’s because you’ll be too busy to see them before that date.
4. Nighttime arguments
You’ve both had a busy day – you’re tired, stressed or perhaps even a little drunk after a few drinks. Now is the dangerous time to be having an argument. Unfortunately many couples find this happens too often and believe it’s the beginning of the end of their relationship.
This needn’t be the case. Typically an argument late in the day is caused by being overwrought and the slightest thing of contention can result in a huge row which is generally unproductive.
If you do have something that needs to be discussed at the end of the day, set a curfew time to do it by. Make that time as early as possible and if there’s no outcome by that time, leave the discussion until the next morning.
5. Routine Sex
With such hectic lives we develop a routine that works best and works quickly. The same can be said for our sex life. Get it done and over with so other things can be attended to. Big mistake.
Routine sex leads to boring sex if you’re not careful. Give your sex life a bit of spice by adding some creative inspiration to making love.
Be spontaneous. Try new positions. Role play. Use toys or erotic fiction. Find time in your life for sex so it’s not something that you do just before falling asleep.
6. Be Romantic
We’ve discussed the sex, now what about the romance. During the early throws of love romance was commonplace – the late night phone calls, love letters, romantic meals out. But then the relationship settles into a routine and romance is abandoned.
Think about the little things that can be romantic. Give your partner a kiss goodbye when leaving the house. Hold hands when you’re at home or out and about. Go out on a ‘date’ again.
7. Are you making the effort?
Remember the early days of your relationship when you would take hours deciding what to wear to impress your partner.
Now a few years have passed perhaps that effort to dress up and look good for one another has been forgotten and your appearance is somewhat less desirable.
Not looking after the way you look can mean your partner loses respect for you. Why should they care when you don’t?
Make the decision together that you’ll smarten up your appearance and spend less time slobbing about the house in tracksuits.
8. Money money money
Somehow this topic has taken on even more meaning with the current economic climate but along with politics and religion it can be one of the most contentious.
If you’re entering into a new relationship get the financial situation established early so you both know where you stand. How are the bills going to be paid and who will pay what?
Many couples find it helps to have one joint account for bills and then each have their own personal account. Each month, money is put into the bills account to cover household outgoings and what remains in your personal account is yours to spend as you want.
If you’re having major financial difficulties, talk them through early on before they get out of control. Once you’ve decided how to deal with it together there’s less chance of it becoming a problem that causes you to split.
9. The green eyed monster of jealousy
Jealousy can be caused by all sorts of things. Perhaps one partner is doing better at work than the other or is more popular with friends. Being jealous or possessive can be extremely damaging to a relationship.
As long as the jealousy has no rational cause (such as an affair), the partner that is jealous needs to get help to deal with what is essentially insecurity or low self-esteem.
When a relationship suffers because one partner has had an affair there are some serious issues that need to be addressed if the relationship is to continue.
The partner who suffers the infidelity will feel rejected and betrayed and will find it difficult to overcome their feelings. The partner who had the affair will be suffering with guilt and needs to address their reasons for being unfaithful.
Infidelity requires both partners to recognise the faults that led to the problem and perhaps seek professional help from a trained counsellor.
11. Mind your Ps & Qs
Gratitude is an important foundation of a successful relationship. Forgetting to thank the other person for an act of kindness or for doing a chore around the house is a bad habit to form as it shows a lack of respect.
Just remember to say thank you each and every time your partner does something for you or for the relationship.
12. Be together
The word couple means two of kind together so try to do things together. When you first started dating you probably spent every possible moment in each other’s company but over time that becomes less so.
Having a constant companion is one of the best things of being in a relationship so organise things to do as a couple. Go dancing, play sport, take up a hobby together. Whatever it is that you’ll both enjoy do it and do it regularly.