Tips for helping your relationship through redundancy

Advice for couples during redundancy

If your partner has lost their job, the strain on your relationship can lead to a complete breakdown in communication. Here a few tips should your partner become unemployed:

1). Be honest. Women should express their feelings about their man losing his job even if it is a raw topic. Men should be open about how they feel, bottling up will only lead to resentment.

2). Tackle the root cause of the problem. Petty arguments about issues that are unrelated to the real problem will only escalate matters.

3). What’s behind your feelings? The majority of disputes are about past issues and the remainder about problems in the moment. Remove the cause of your feelings by addressing what’s behind them.

4). Think about your partner’s problems from the past that might be the cause of their current issues. Did their mother or father have a low opinion of them. Perhaps they lost a job at some point. Also, think about your own childhood experiences and how your parents would have reacted. Your actions could be driven by those memories.

5). Communicate with your partner better to get things out in the open quickly. Use these statements to express how you feel because how you say it rather what you’re saying is the underlying cause of most disputes.

Try to use these words when talking:

“I feel…” – (Your partner will then appreciate where you’re coming from)

“When you…” – (Points to specific things rather than generalising)

“Because…” – (Provides background information to your feelings) e.g. “I’m upset when dinner isn’t ready because my journey home is so tiring.”

6). Respect each other. Your worth as an individual shouldn’t be based on your ability to earn money. Remember the things that attracted you to your partner and remind each other of those qualities.

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